Elul 5775/2015

It’s those times, when God is my dusk. It’s the times when I permit certain thoughts and maybe fear and maybe doubt. Though rarely doubt. The times where I long to hide in the shadow of God’s wings. So very private, so personal. Wordless. Moments of softness, like cashmere, or like a tender bruise. And in these moments, God is so close that I disappear in the Presence. Completely. My sadness is carried; my loneliness is the burden of some Great Thing. But this place scares me, if I must be honest. It is too much, too powerful, too soft, too exposed. And what is odd is, that with practice, the path from intimacy to transcendence is as short as one long breath: with an inhale, I hide in the shadows and with the exhale, I fly…loosing myself in the magnificence. For what is truly the difference between the shadow and light, between closeness and awe, between loss of self and One?