Prayer

Prayer is a moment when the veil that separates us from the world of the spirit is pulled back and we see for just a flash, that all things are intertwined and fundamentally connected. It all started with a redecorating scheme, which involved removing the yellow wallpaper with strawberries that was in my dining room. I wanted to paint the walls white except for one wall which I wanted to paint a deep blue.

For me the color blue has always been the essence of spirit. Perhaps I associate that color with the vastness of the sky, the reach toward the heavens, or maybe I connect it with the power and mystery of the sea. It just seems that everything blue in nature signals us to notice some Divine greatness.

Oddly enough this decision was controversial. People said the dining room was too small, the color too dark; the pale-green chairs wouldn’t match. But I could not let go of the thought of a blue wall in my dining room. Even my painter added his voice to the naysayers—“You should paint the wall white, it’s clean and brings light to the room” that was it, enough is enough. I found my resolve and looked him square in the eye and said, “We’re going to paint it deep blue. And another thing—make it high gloss.”

So he did. And I was in awe. No pictures on this wall, just blue.

Then it happened one early fall morning. The sun hit the high gloss with a slanting splash of light, illuminating thoughts as deep as the blue. I stared at the wall and felt that all was one. All things converged into a sense of wordless prayer —God, love, home, family, ambition, light and blue. I tried to find the words to express the prayer of my heart when I looked up and saw Ilan, our nine-year-old son, standing on the stairs. His eyes were the color of dream. He was warm and soft and still smelled like sleep.

“Ilan, come, I want to show you something.” He quietly came down the stairs and I took his small hand in mine leading him to the blue sunlit wall. “Look, Ilan, isn’t it beautiful?” He said in a hoarse early-morning voice, barely audible, “Yeah.” We sat down on the floor, crossed our legs. He cuddled into me and we paused, staring, breathing in unison. I uttered a prayer of amazement and gratitude. And then I whispered, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You O God, my Rock and my Redeemer.